what if?

i'm all alone at home tadi

sume gy bazar

sbb today i'm kinda lazy to go out

nk jadi ulat kt umah

so then diba balek

n cakap gate x tutup

pintu x kunci

and i'm all alone kt umah

diba mcm mara la ckit

tp its just because she is concerned la kan

she said 'kalau jadi ape2 kt ko td, huishh...'

senyom je lah

then i thought.

what if something really happened to me?

kinda scared.

but i pretty much don't care.

if its fated for me, then i'll accept it as it is.

kucing kucing.

sebab musabab tajok?

saya tgh bersin2 sbb kucing yg comel lg bongok itu

huhu

sudah lama tak berblog ini

ingin plak tetibe

so

midterm telecommunication suda lepas

seiringan dgn itu saya cirits birits

tgh2 test tu bley belari keluar bekejaran ke toilet sbb tak tahan

die pulas baekkkk punya

tp nsb bek sempat la buat test 

kuar awal plak tu

-mode : sombong -

hahah

xde la

sbb da konfiden jawapan

so ok la

esok test data communications plak

midterm je memanjang before balik raya ni

takpela

bley raye dgn tenang

well.

maybe la kan sbb mama n abah maybe taknak balik kampung dis year

nak raye kat cni je

sedara mare byk kat cni

kt bangi, cheras

dekat2 sume

kelantan da lame da x balek

tp usually raya kat kelantan tak meriah mane

lg meriah kat belah selangor

ramai sedare

makan pon best

back to my jawa heritage

da lame x jmpe sepupu spapat ni sume

sume da besa

da kawen 

da tunang

da berpunye

me?

hmmmmmmmmmmm~

cmtu je le

x kesa la dgn ape yg mendatang

aku redha dgn jodoh yg ditentukan olehNYA

if ade, maka ade lah

if tiada, maka tiada lah.

hidup still goes on.

cerita-cerita hangat?

ah ye.

xde berapa sgt la

nak beli phone

nak sangat2

tapi xtau la kan

impian terbantut

xpela

nanti2 la

tp keinginan sgt kuat nak beliiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

grr grr

skang

nak beli beg, kasut, baju and selendang

for raya

tralalala

dan skarang sepatutnye aku stadi utk test esok

tetapi apakan daya

kemalasan ku melampau

ku berblog sahaja

sbb da lame tak blog

sambil2 dgr lagu yg agak basi

huhuhu

'just a second, it's my favourite song they gonna play'

rumah manis rumah.

yeah yeah yeah yeah.

hari ni bukak puasa kat umah!

lauk seperti tertera di bawah!

sangat hepi!

loved the crab soup my mom cooked!

XD

super duper happy!

depressed lily, partially gone.

ehehhe.

mommy's the best cook ever.

of course i did help out.

anak yang baek lah kate kan.

hehe

xpe la

janjy hepi dpt mam with the whole family.

ramadan.

dah lame x blog.

i blog ni pon sbb panas kt bilik xley tido make kte berblog ehh

so...a lot la happen this past few weeks.

pesta konvo lagi

its earlier because dorg nk wat b4 ramadhan

tp mcm x meriah la kan

cm bosan ckit

meriah lg tahon lepas

and erm.....wat else?

oh, it's already the second day of Ramadan

and i seem to not finish my food when bukak puasa

it's like very2 sayangg

there's still plenty of food and i can't finish it

nk kate xde slere xde la jgk, tp slere agak besa ni

tp x abes.

phm x?

so then tomorrow i'm going home to break fast with my family for the 1st time...

and meet my new cousin in law

my cousin got married last week and i could not make it because of pesta konvo

she's only 19..and she is married...haihh

letey la tgk byk cousin yg lg muda kawen lg awal dr aku

makes me feel old

but then, they are going to miss a lot in their life

enjoying the life as a free adult.

LOL

really, i do feel they will miss a lot

but then they will have fun their way

as a married couple.

different people different perceptions.

then, lately, i've been really2 happy.

and i'm scared that when everything is right it will go very, very, very wrong.

story of my life. never gets old.

hmmm

ape lagi eh.

oh ya

i want new phone!

XD

but duett...

hadoi.

i wish i had more money.

trying to save money here people.

lily is going to be super kedekot.

maybe. 

nyte people. happy sahor.

redefinition.

i'm blessed with the name nor lilliani.

born on the great day of monday (if i'm not mistaken), on the 2nd january 1989. born 9.54am.

as what i read from my birth certificate.

today, 1st of august 2010, i'm 21 and almost 7 months old.

and i pretty much content with my life, i guess.

i haven't blogged lately so there's many to tell, many to be shared, 

and i think i want to redefine a little portion of my life.

i'm redefining little parts of me, which seems need to be defined again.

or it will be pretty much meaningless.

why the redefinition?

i want to move on from everything that is haunting me,

everything that i am after,

everything that is chasing me,

all these unnecessary feelings and memories,

i want to move on, even though they aren't erasable.

sometimes i wished that i just can reformat myself, but then i'll forget the good stuffs too.

so everything happens.

i think too much and it happens.

i get too close and it goes so far.

so i'd rather stay away, or maybe if i want to be close, i'll put up my guard.

and here comes the cliche,

i want to concentrate on my studies and just have fun when i want to.

and falling in love, maybe out of the question.
just because i'm tired.

so i'll just play around, and that's the fun.

twenty-one years old and trying to grow up.

new definition of me?

well.i'll stop pretending that everything is fine.but, enjoy the life with thorns.

it is bitter.it is sweet.

it is just a part of me that wants to be strong on my own.

let's see how far i can walk.